In Praise of the Radish Burp

I have a tendency to become....mmmm...how shall I say this?....a little paranoid. It's not anything out of the ordinary. I think, under the circumstances, many people may feel inherently uneasy. For instance, there's the nuclear threat posed by North Korea, the continued recession, local political battles, larger political and social dynamics over which I have no control. I could list a thousand things that push my personal panic button.

However, what tows me back to earth (besides my comforting and levelheaded husband) when I jet into one of my reflective orbits is a walk to our garden. We have gradually increased its size over the three or four years since we started growing our own food. We have beets, eggplants, carrots, peppers of all sorts, tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, potatoes, sunflowers (for seeds), squash, pumpkins, even cantaloupe. Soon, we'll plant black beans.

In previous years, we canned 75 quarts of Blue Lake string beans, and last year, Michael and I canned homemade salsa. We likewise baked, pureed and froze container upon container of pureed pumpkin, which I've been using all winter to make soups, stews, quick bread and muffins.

My husband and I cook (and honestly, play like little kids) well together, moving around our small kitchen and filling in where one of us is unable to because we lack the requisite hands. For example, Michael spoons salsa or peppers in jars, I apply the lids, and he puts them into the hot water with the canning tongs. We tag team. It's perfect.

In the evenings, before Michael comes home, I usually go out to see what's developed since the previous day. Last night, beside salad greens from our mesclun mix, it was radishes: big, red, beautiful radishes. They're still young, and it's been moist, so they're not stingingly strong. Instead, they have that wonderful flavor that reminds me of summers past, when we'd eat radishes raw on the back porch, sip tea, and then burp aloud.

Okay, I know, real romantic. But, it was so much fun. Several times, we'd go somewhere in the car and one of us would quietly allow radish effluvia to leave us, and the other of us would--alerted by the distinctive radish odor lingering like a cloud between us--say, "Oh my gosh. No more radishes tomorrow!" Still, we'd do it all over again the next day because, despite our professed and half-joking disgust over these radish burps, it has become a kind of semi-sacred ritual, a little nudge of love, a reason to giggle.

Along with those radish burps, comes a release of another kind: we're liberated from the daily pressures that weigh us down by the laughing affection that comes with them.

Truly. Words to live by, Lucille.

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself." — Lucille Ball

So True. So American Soma.

"As societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent, too. Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action: you liberate a city by destroying it. Words are to confuse, so that at election time people will solemnly vote against their own interests." --Gore Vidal

Inspiring Stuff at Pilcrow

The 2009 Pilcrow Lit Fest, founded by lit world powerhouse Amy Guth, concluded on Saturday with A Rebuilt Books Auction and Todd Zuniga's Literary Death Match. The Chicago-based festival was truly fantastic and brought together many of the geographically-dispersed members of the online and new-wave print world.

Although the festival stretched its long arms from one end of the week to the next, with Pilcrow-related events occurring each evening, the most intense day for festival was Saturday, when a series of panels took place at two locations: Trader Todd's and Mathilda's/Baby Atlas.

Literary Festivals like Pilcrow are genuinely energizing. While writing and editing themselves are generally lonely pursuits, requiring quiet concentration and a strong force of will to continue, events like Amy Guth's Pilcrow allow writers to regain perspective, see what's going on elsewhere, sniff the air for new literary scents, and realize new distribution methods (take for instance Featherproof Books' "Light Literature Series", which are tiny, stapled storybooks; also, there are Orange Alert's small-scale CDs, containing literary content).

David Barringer has also created a mini-catalogue of his works, another genius idea from an award-winning designer.

We also had the chance to meet speculative fiction author, Mark R. Brand, who regularly publishes with the beautifully marketed Silver Thought Press. He's one very cool guy and an extremely prolific writer! Check out an excerpt of his book Red Ivy Afternoon here. I just bought it from Amazon a few moments ago, and regret that I didn't pick it up while I was at the festival.

What's our next stop on the American Soma tour? Baltimore! June 6, 2009, Savannah will be joining JMWW Editor Jen Michalski and other JMWW contributors at Cyclops Books in Baltimore, where the group will celebrate the launch of the 3rd JMWW Anthology with a reading. Join us at Cyclops 30 W. North Street in Baltimore!

Panel Pictures from Pilcrow

From Teaching Artists Panel at Pilcrow Lit Fest; Photo: Michael Guz; Location: Trader Todd
From Social and Political Writers Panel at Pilcrow Lit Fest; Photo: Michael Guz;
Location: Trader Todd

Political and Social Writers Panel at Pilcrow Lit Fest; Photo: Michael Guz;

Location: Trader Todd; Moderator: Tim Hall

A Surprise Before Departure

Steve M., Savannah's information source while writing the controversial book American Soma, sat with Michael and Savannah while they packed for their trip to Pilcrow Lit Fest in Chicago. As Savannah put her dresses into the hanging luggage, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Steve's 'tail,' an unidentified SWAT team member. The man in black began to show himself above the Queen Anne's chair, where Steve rested on Michael's fully packed duffel bag.

Suddenly alert, Steve grabbed his gun. "Who are you?!" he shouted.

Again, the man disappeared as quickly as he arrived.

Convinced the SWAT man had gone outside, Steve climbed out the bedroom window in

pursuit.

He came back a few minutes later. "I lost him," he said, angrily, "I have no idea where he went."

To be continued.....

Enter Steve McQueen

Steve McQueen stopped by our house for coffee this evening, just days before we depart for Chicago's Pilcrow Lit Fest. He told us that psychotropic drugs have made their way into coffee, pizza, and beer, and told us what we should avoid on our trip. "The government," Steve said, "is surreptitiously drugging us. We're not safe."

Gratefully accepting a cup of coffee we assured him was free of psychtropics, Steve told us about a hair-raising government plot to medicate the entire nation. And then suddenly, a SWAT team figure appeared. He had apparently attached his grappling hook to our roof.

Steve said: "Damn it! I knew I was followed here!

Indeed, Steve had been followed. When the SWAT figure realized he had been seen, he quickly disappeared.

We searched for him outside, but he was gone. Vanished!

How Big Brother Agribusiness Will Get Your Goat

An article on the way in which Agribusiness is pushing the small farmer and self-sufficient homesteader out of the picture appears at Eric Dondero's news site Libertarian Republican.

"While it has been scaled back on the federal level and termed “voluntary” in the face of wide-spread small farming protests, government regulation is entering the farmyard by the rear gate. Through state and local government in Michigan and Wisconsin, NAIS and mandatory Premise IDs are law. Those who do not comply have had their milking licenses revoked, among other penalties. Wisconsin is considered a model for the program’s implementation in other states."

Read the whole article here: http://libertarianrepublican.blogspot.com/2009/05/how-big-brother-agribusiness-will-get.html

Get Medicated, Suburbia!

The pre-order page for American Soma is now available!

Visit www.sonewpublishing.com to place your order now. Or download the free reader's guide in .pdf format.

An Irate Australian Citizen

This anonymous letter originally appeared on Jim Fryar's blog Real World Libertarian. It's absolutely priceless. How many times have I mentally composed a letter like this to some similar organization? Too many to count.

Here it is--

Dear Minister,

I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date? For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver’s license, on the last eight passports I’ve ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I’ve filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also, would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Audrey, my Father’s name is Jack, and I’d be absolutely f***ing astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!…SHIT!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I’ve had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f***ing address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arse-holes working there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can’t even grow a beard for God’s sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe me, I sure as hell would not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another f***ing copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo... That’d be too f***ing easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our f***ing heads cut off, and then having to find some high society wanker to confirm that it’s really me in the god-damn photo! You know the photo…the one where we’re not allowed to smile? …You f***ing morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S.: Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.I’m also a personal friend of the president of the RSL. And Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.However, your rules require that I have to get someone “important” to verify who I am; You know… someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F***ING PAKISTAN!!!…A country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the “right sort of government.”

You are all f***ing idiots.

Thoughts for the Morning

Boycott Companies that use RIFDs: they threaten privacy

"Supermarket cards and retail surveillance devices are merely the opening volley of the marketers' war against consumers. If consumers fail to oppose these practices now, our long-term prospects may look like something from a dystopian science fiction novel."
--from RFID: Tracking everything, everywhere by Katherine Albrecht, CASPIAN

We thought clinically-diagnosed schizophrenics, who feared radio waves emitted by the government, were crazy? It turns out they were prophetic. Read this and learn why:

http://www.spychips.com/what-is-rfid.html

The daily minutiae of our lives, or simplest choices, are being monitored on an ever increasing level.

Big Brother watches Thanks to GPS Coordinates

Have someone on your doorstep saying they're with the census bureau and shooting GPS coordinates? Skeptical of the relevance of these coordinates to the census?

You're not alone.

Read this: http://libertarianrepublican.blogspot.com/2009/05/wnd-headlines-gps-census-bureau-story.html

Read about the variety of things that can be done with these coordinates here.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, I feel we are heading towards the dystopic minutae of Orwell's 1984 and noone's doing anything to stop the steady, insidious slide.

Pilcrow Lit Fest is fast approaching!

www.pilcrowlitfest.com

(And check out the designer responsible for the fabulous artwork!

Justin Wolta is www.mommasboydesign.com)

David Barringer explains the concept behind his excellent American Soma Design

Please check out designer and author David Barringer's explanation for the visually arresting cover he created for American Soma, which I am so excited to have as the introductory image to the book. The design is conceptually interesting, as David explains here.
(http://davidbarringer.blogspot.com/)

The Dissemination of Desire

An interesting article appears on Yahoo, warning readers about the unfulfilling allure of desire culture. One of the central messages in American Soma's "Post-Modern Colonialism" is that commercial concerns inherently fuel discontent.

Let's take a closer look and compare story with article:

First, "Postmodern Colonialism" from American Soma:

" Many of the nations approached still required additional priming, their people needed to be aware of things in order to begin wanting them. And through black market items, through months-old dog-eared copies of entertainment magazines filled cover to cover with glossy advertisements and images of stars looking so delicious they might have been pies in a bakery case, each distant population gradually discovered the saleable essentials of our world and grew to desire their opulent pretenses. "

Now, the Yahoo article.

http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/107058/11-Ways-to-Save-Money-Now

"According to Boston College sociologist Juliet Schor, "Television viewing results in an upscaling of desire. And that in turn leads people to buy." Her study found that every additional hour of TV viewing per week boosts spending by roughly $200 a year. So a handful of sitcoms and a reality series or two can cost you more than a grand a year. Forget keeping up with the Joneses; now people are struggling to keep up with the Kardashians."

Another human evolutionary branch?

"A skeleton cast of tiny and controversial Homo floresiensis, nicknamed the Hobbit, went on public display for the first time Tuesday at Stony Brook University on Long Island."

http://www.livescience.com/history/090422-hobbit-cast.html